By Marci Narum

When Emily Wangen decided her career would be in music therapy, her parents were among the first people with whom she shared the news. She says they were a bit skeptical, however supportive, of the dream.

Emily was sure. She had been singing since childhood, naturally loved to help people, and discovered the career through an online search. Music therapy would be her life’s work. What she didn’t know was how music therapy would play a role in the last breath of her father’s life. Or that she would be there to experience it.

“My dad had a traumatic brain aneurism about four years ago. He had about 60 days of life through the process and as a result passed.  Through his last days, speech did not come easily. However, through musical cuing, he could sing ‘Red Solo Cup’ and ‘Bohemian Rhapsody.’  I naturally started working with when I arrived at the hospital while he was in the ICU.

“Certainly it was hard to see my own father in this condition, but at the same time I knew my father’s strong musical past, a singer himself.  I knew music was going to be a key to help him connect to the present moment even though he might not be able to put words into conversational context.

While in the ICU, I would bring in my guitar and get him to sing with me. Instead of trying to get him to say, ‘I want water,’ if I put it to music, he could do it. Without the music he was more difficult and he would become frustrated.

“There were many good and bad days; more bad than good.  During a good day, he would respond, during the bad, he was too critical to use music.  Towards the end, we knew he would be going on hospice. During that time there were many moments of anxiety and pain for him and the family. Music was often there to pick us up.  When I couldn’t bring myself to sign with him, we would use recorded music of his preference to keep actively engaged in the world.  During our hospice experience, he was beyond verbally communicating that he needed pain meds or a simple request, however if we asked if he needed music, he would give us a blink or a squeeze of the hand. Many times as I played the guitar you could watch his respirations slow down or his body relax.  It was during those moments that I thanked God for giving me this career.

“My family and I were called in for the last moments of his life. Upon entering the room at approximately 4am, I picked up the guitar and began strumming and singing my father to his last breath. Throughout this time there wasn’t a visible struggle.  The music was gentle, supportive, and calming.  String by string I picked them slowly to match his respirations and entrained his breath with the rhythm. It was at this time that music was his guide to the golden gates of heaven.  Our family was gathered together for one last time, we were singing and encouraging him to feel the music. At one point I laid the guitar to rest on his body so he could feel the vibration of the music.  My father passed peacefully, through this process and I am blessed beyond words to have had the opportunity to offer my gifts.

“He and my mother were my biggest fans as a musician and as a music therapist. He was passionate about the work I did in my professional career. He was proud of what my sister and I had become. My sister a nurse and I a music therapist.  You could say his had an amazing team caring for him. When ever people would ask where I got my musicality, my mom would always say my voice was a gift from him. I am beyond blessed to have chosen music therapy as a profession and that I had the opportunity to give back in the most profound and direct way, with my family at my side.

“As a practicing music therapist, the majority of my company’s work is done in schools, mental health, and in our clinic with children and adults with developmental disabilities. We have a love for working with people who are medically fragile or who have physical and cognitive challenges. We strive to make a difference in the individuals lives as well as for the family. Music Therapy can reduce anxiety and pain, improve levels of functioning, engage those who are affected by dementia and other neurologic conditions or offer support during the last breath of life for the individual and family. Music Therapy is a wonderful and powerful experience that can help a vulnerable individual enhance his/her quality of life. “