This dynamic duo thrives on directness
by Marnie Piehl

Audrey Scronce is a ball of energy. She exudes a level of vigor that makes it seem as if she is zipping around her sunny sitting room. Dressed in bright yellow, she speaks colorfully, warmly, using her hands and conveying motion. But, she’s actually seated, near her walker, her oxygen and, most importantly, her granddaughter.

This 73-year-old is never far from her granddaughter, Sarah Dehaan. Poised, serene, lovely, Sarah, 20, seems the elder, with her calm manner and her composure. But these two women, with their differences in age and opinion are reaping the benefits of an incredibly close relationship.

“We have spats,” Audrey says.

“Lots of them,” Sarah adds.

They are surprisingly frank with each other but never disrespectful. When Sarah disagrees with Audrey, she stops short of rolling her eyes. Her response is more loving … but no less expressive. They relay a recent disagreement, overlapping in the telling.

“She and her mother were fussing,” Audrey begins.

“She doesn’t like that,” Sarah interjects.

“I don’t, and I strode in with both feet and told her not to yell at my daughter,” Audrey continues. She looks meaningfully at Sarah.

“And I told her to go back to the Waterford if she doesn’t like it,” Sarah admits.

“And rot there!” her grandmother hoots.

“I was not that mean!”

Audrey looks at her granddaughter with a doting smile, “It was okay. We had to clear the air.”

No subject is taboo between these two; nothing is off-limits. Audrey has opinions about the boyfriend as well as Sarah’s future plans. “I don’t ever want her to get hurt,” she confesses.

Sarah says her grandmother is a strong influence. “I still have my own choices. But I think of her in my head.”

Raised in a strict home, Audrey married at 18. Her husband Jack was with the U.S. Army. The Sronces lived everywhere from Guam to Newfoundland, settling in Lincoln, Neb., once Jack left the military. Audrey worked as an administrative nurse and Jack as an engineer at the Lincoln Veterans Hospital. She says her profession honed her straightforward manner and losing her husband and oldest son sharpened her focus.

“It is important for me to spend as much time as possible with the people I love and to never have regrets. Tomorrow is not a given, and I need to use my time wisely,” she says.

Audrey says military life also “allowed me to become Audrey.”

And now, Audrey is making sure that Sarah can become Sarah. A desire to see her granddaughter thrive is obvious in Audrey’s beaming face as she urges Sarah to talk about her plans for the future. Sarah will be enrolling at Rasmussen College in the fall to pursue a bachelor’s degree in criminal justice.

“I’m so ecstatic about it, I’m just beside myself,” Audrey enthuses. “That’s been one of our spats.” She turns to Sarah and shakes her finger. “I want you to have the piece of paper to open doors.”

The two are aware that their relationship is exceptionally close. “We’ve always had a real good bond. I think it’s because [Sarah’s mother] gave us the freedom to be that,” Audrey says. Sarah and her brother often traveled with their mother to spend time with the grandparents.

Those visits had a big girly element. “We’d go shopping together and buy matching dresses and shoes,” Audrey reminisces. “Lincoln had this exclusive dress shop and Miss Sarah would ride the escalators. She was just a little thing, but she knew her size and what she wanted. Then she’d have to have the shoes to match. She loved gold and red shoes and jewelry to match.”

Audrey moved to Bismarck about one year ago to be closer to her daughter, Kim Dehaan, as well as Sarah and her brother Nick.

The move has deepened their relationship. These days, Sarah visits Audrey regularly, serves as her grandmother’s driver and chief companion for their regular Girls’ Days Out, which includes manicures, pedicures, lunch, shopping, naps and cookie time.

And now, Sarah shops for her grandmother. “She bought grandma a whole new wardrobe a while back; she knows what I like. Not many grandkids are going to do that!” Audrey says.

Audrey, Kim and Sarah are all close, but Audrey echoes the words of grandparents the world over when she points out that grandchildren are different. “They are wonderful – you leave all the responsibility to the parents and just get the good stuff.”

Audrey’s and Sarah’s spats, their straightforwardness and the honesty of their interactions affect those outside of their little circle, as well. For instance, Sarah’s boyfriend got a taste of Audrey’s frankness when he came to dinner in holey jeans. “He had the awfulest jeans. There was hardly any jean material left! So I said, ‘you in these tacky clothes … and Sarah dressed up so nice,’” Audrey continues.

“And she yelled at my mother to change, too,” Sarah notes.

“I say just get it out. Let people know. Why harbor on it? I don’t say things in a hateful manner. I dislike the action, not the person,” she explains.

She turns to Sarah, “Now last night, he didn’t have any holes in his clothes.”

“He didn’t, did he?”

They both smile. And they sound a bit surprised by their mutual effect on Sarah’s friend.

But, it’s hard to imagine anyone unaffected by this most dynamic of duos.